Thanks for the response. Really big thanks. I spent some time in Italy and found to my surprise that love was much more of a big big deal there than in America where stereo typical thinking about love based on poorly written romances and sappy songs for the dull middle class creates a not so compelling affairs of the heart. Like "Don't be late for work!"
I wonder what to make of that comment. I suppose you might say don't invest in someone who is unweilding. If you are to invest in someone who yields easily perhaps that person lacks identity and soul. I don't know. But if you invest in someone who doesn't invest in you than this is surely wrong. There has got to be some give and take. I agree that a person can be too prickly and difficult to deal with. I may be having that situation right now. But I have grown more in this relationship than with any other human being in my experience. A princess is always worth more than a begger, and the price of getting a princess is a real sacrifice for the man. Actual love in my experience is nothing close than a miracle. It differs from other kinds of love in that it feels fated. Even if the person is not what you really wanted it unquestionably a reality. Chances are often that the person you fall in love with is hardly the person you expected to fall in love with. They are likely to feel that same way. Oh why do I deserve this. And lets say she is driving me crazy sometimes. But when looked at from a psychological perspective there is something that really is crazy about love. Our heart beat loudly and passionatly and there is no reason to resist these feelings as anything but love or something close to it. Perhaps this might be lust. Then sexual frustration would be at the root of the relationship. This happens. We can mistake sexual desire for having true feelings about someone. Then if you feel bad if they aren't doing well. If your desire to help them is huge. If you find yourself thinking about them in a concerned or happy way then perhaps it is the real thing and then who cares who she is really. It is a once in a life time thing as intense as it is, there are many women who are just wanting a man and are just too easy. I for one know the difference. Yet if the love of your life is full of betrayal than that is my main concern. Is she faithful. And last of all does she really really like me even when the bad stuff has happened. I imagine that it is the woman who only wants to have a man regardless of how much she likes him is going to be the one who cheats on him either physically or emotionally. The easy way out is always tempting, but the feelings a person has for someone is even more important in my opinion.
Another problem is being overly attached to someone and letting them use you. If you are a person with any respect for him/her self you don't tolerate being used for selfish purposes. That is a sound that a bad relationship seems to have that has no strong love. The intent on taking advantage of the other, to use the other and hence damage the other. That is madness.
In a love relationship some flaws seem to deride it in my last experience. Being too damn serious, blaming and accusing often, using power simply for the love of power. Setting up too many boundries all the time. Having a spiteful mother inlaw. Probably being angry too often didn't help either.
Love is almost a luxury in today's world and a hard to find one. Which is why so many people don't really think people really really fall madly passionately for each other and melt. Believe me. There is a such thing. It is real and very magical. Even a trophy wife won't give a person anything like this experience.
Love as I see now between two people does not really involve sex. Unfortunatly at least one sexual encounter is likely so men are ruled out unless you are brave and break from your sexual orientation. I am not that brave. So romance with a woman involves:
Attraction of course. Patience so that people can express anger with out being overtly hostile. Both people can not share the same exact reality since this creates huge seperation anxiety. Both people have not been doing self destructive things in their life before they met. They need a history of mental health in order to have confidence that things are going to work out.
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To Love Another is connected to upliftingthoughts.org
This is really important stuff that Rilke says. And hey lets start talking to each other!!!!
Thanks for the response. Really big thanks. I spent some time in Italy and found to my surprise that love was much more of a big big deal there than in America where stereo typical thinking about love based on poorly written romances and sappy songs for the dull middle class creates a not so compelling affairs of the heart. Like "Don't be late for work!"
Invest in a person that yields.
I wonder what to make of that comment. I suppose you might say don't invest in someone who is unweilding. If you are to invest in someone who yields easily perhaps that person lacks identity and soul. I don't know. But if you invest in someone who doesn't invest in you than this is surely wrong. There has got to be some give and take. I agree that a person can be too prickly and difficult to deal with. I may be having that situation right now. But I have grown more in this relationship than with any other human being in my experience. A princess is always worth more than a begger, and the price of getting a princess is a real sacrifice for the man. Actual love in my experience is nothing close than a miracle. It differs from other kinds of love in that it feels fated. Even if the person is not what you really wanted it unquestionably a reality. Chances are often that the person you fall in love with is hardly the person you expected to fall in love with. They are likely to feel that same way. Oh why do I deserve this. And lets say she is driving me crazy sometimes. But when looked at from a psychological perspective there is something that really is crazy about love. Our heart beat loudly and passionatly and there is no reason to resist these feelings as anything but love or something close to it. Perhaps this might be lust. Then sexual frustration would be at the root of the relationship. This happens. We can mistake sexual desire for having true feelings about someone. Then if you feel bad if they aren't doing well. If your desire to help them is huge. If you find yourself thinking about them in a concerned or happy way then perhaps it is the real thing and then who cares who she is really. It is a once in a life time thing as intense as it is, there are many women who are just wanting a man and are just too easy. I for one know the difference. Yet if the love of your life is full of betrayal than that is my main concern. Is she faithful. And last of all does she really really like me even when the bad stuff has happened. I imagine that it is the woman who only wants to have a man regardless of how much she likes him is going to be the one who cheats on him either physically or emotionally. The easy way out is always tempting, but the feelings a person has for someone is even more important in my opinion.
Another problem is being overly attached to someone and letting them use you. If you are a person with any respect for him/her self you don't tolerate being used for selfish purposes. That is a sound that a bad relationship seems to have that has no strong love. The intent on taking advantage of the other, to use the other and hence damage the other. That is madness.
In a love relationship some flaws seem to deride it in my last experience. Being too damn serious, blaming and accusing often, using power simply for the love of power. Setting up too many boundries all the time. Having a spiteful mother inlaw. Probably being angry too often didn't help either.
Love is almost a luxury in today's world and a hard to find one. Which is why so many people don't really think people really really fall madly passionately for each other and melt. Believe me. There is a such thing. It is real and very magical. Even a trophy wife won't give a person anything like this experience.
Love as I see now between two people does not really involve sex. Unfortunatly at least one sexual encounter is likely so men are ruled out unless you are brave and break from your sexual orientation. I am not that brave. So romance with a woman involves:
Attraction of course.
Patience so that people can express anger with out being overtly hostile.
Both people can not share the same exact reality since this creates huge seperation anxiety.
Both people have not been doing self destructive things in their life before they met. They need a history of mental health in order to have confidence that things are going to work out.
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